Dish the Spish- Week 1

Catriona Galloway and Isabelle Bousquette offer you insight to the most suspicious things so far this semester

For those who don’t know, Groundhog Day is a holiday in which a groundhog emerges from his burrow on February 2nd every year. If he sees his shadow, he gets scared, goes back into the burrow, and there are six more weeks of winter. If he doesn’t, that means it’s going to be an early spring. As a tradition, not that spish. The spicious part is how we find out whether or not the groundhog sees his shadow. Later that day the mayor of Punxatawney, Pennsylvania asks the groundhog (Phil) whether he saw his shadow or not. Then the Phil whispers the answer to him in a large public televised event. An entire nation gathering to hear the musings of a groundhog. Named Phil. The fact that his name is Phil is clearly the spishest part. Sidenote: this holiday is only slightly relevant because of a 1993 Bill Murray/Andie Macdowell film about it. But we cannot endorse this film, because as we’ve learned from “Scrubs,” everything ending in -owl is horrible: scowl, bowel, foul, and movies with Andie Macdowell.

So, Katy Perry’s backup dancers for her super bowl halftime performance were sharks. There has yet to be an explanation offered for this. #spishandchips You think she could’ve picked an animal with legs.

Minions are really spish. By minions, we mean the yellow androgynous thumb-shaped midgets from “Despicable Me.” They’re spicious to begin with. It’s even more spicious that they’re now getting their own movie. We know what you’re thinking: “Wait…minions don’t speak? How can we watch an entire film of their Sims-style gibberish?” There is no answer to this question. The icing on top off the spish-cake are the outlandish claims made by this movie. Like the fact that minions predated dinosaurs. Or the fact that minions built the pyramids. We’re all for suspending disbelief, but is anyone really buying this? We think not. #spishions