It was that time of year that we looked forward to
Week four, semester one, first years riddled with freshers flu
When the Kate Kennedy club opened their arms
And welcomed twelve hundred students in their grade A garms.
The 25th Opening Ball St Andrews has seen,
And the second opening ball to which I have been,
Excitement was high for event numero two
To see if the club would produce something new…
Traditionally Scottish! A perfect St. Andrews night,
We were welcomed by a racket from some dodgy bagpipes.
The piper claims that “it was a faulty reed”,
After several burst eardrums, Walker had to concede.
As we passed through the gates just beyond the Quad
We were handed a glass of fizz from DJ Todd,
A costly ticket for one sip, ‘I want another!’
Still, money or Cava, which would you rather?
So if you honoured St Andrews tradition
Of late arrivals with a 10:30 admission,
Gone was the greeting of bubbly brut
Instead, a heap of smashed champagne flutes.
The grand marquee never fails to impress,
The tent’s aesthetic was a huge success
But the show was stolen by the four sided bar,
Its square design emitted the expected queueing scar.
Yet a new drinks feature was both a blessing and a curse
And it did the most damage to the VK lover’s purse
The Pablo’s ball debut, we were no longer deprived
But a controversial six pounds to the Union’s five.
A glass or three later when we’d had a few
We did a lap of the tent to see what else to do.
A free Jannetta’s stall, same old ice cream stunt
But not opportune snacks for the lactose intolerant.
The big tent performers blew us away,
How’s Harry, a bit too edgy per se.
The other DJs took to the decks like a storm
And soon enough the crowd mirrored their form.
But the hidden gem was found outside,
A smaller tent in which you could hide.
A chance to escape the drunken slurs,
The freshers, KK rejects and freelance photographers.
This tent’s music was ‘lit’ or thereabouts,
With the St Andrews faves, ASQUIRE and Tea House.
‘Best night of my life’ Gus Giddins exclaimed
He doesn’t get out a lot, it’s a shame.
It must be said that a great night was had,
When the last song played, not only I was sad.
The crowd stood together, waiting in hope, under the moon
twelve hundred students chanting “ONE MORE TUNE”
I’m disappointed to report that our request was ignored
So finally the booze infused crowd got bored
They took themselves home from Lower College Lawn,
Leaving the KK boys to clean up ‘till dawn.
I look back fondly on this event
Not the slightest feeling of discontent
The Kate Kennedy Club made the evening alive,
Thus I give this event five stars out of five.