It’s been kind of a rough ride from last March to today, for reasons I won’t elaborate on. Luckily, we were blessed with a new Animal Crossing game mid-pandemic, so, you know, it almost balances out. The opportunity to replace your everyday concerns with bug catching and fishing is every escapist’s dream. And god knows recent circumstances have made escapists out of all of us.

The reason I’m writing this today, though, is not to supply some insightful apocalyptic analysis of the state of the world, or even to talk about Animal Crossing at any considerable length. At the end of the day, I’m a simple person and I have simple joys, and K.K. Slider’s music is one of them.

For those who may not be familiar, every Saturday, the funky little canine rock star will show up to your island, and, come 6pm, he’ll start take song requests. Did you know that there are 95 unique songs you can request?

I listened to all 95 of them. I was originally going to rank them all, but I thought it might be better to spare you. So, alternatively, here are the top 10.

10) Welcome Horizons

It’s the classic. I couldn’t leave it off of this list in good conscience. This song is the epitome of New Horizons, and generally feels like a warm hug. It’s a nice little touch to get to ability to hear the game’s main theme as a K.K. performance. Unfortunately, this does come in at number 10, though. It just can’t hold up compared to some of the other covers.

9) DJ K.K.

Any song that opens with a four-second howl is off to a flying start in my eyes. A groovy little tune which is incredibly adorable. A lot of K.K. Slider’s songs have the tendency to lean towards being a bit on the slower side, so it’s nice to hear one of a higher energy now and then.

8) Surfin’ K.K.

Another upbeat one. Maybe there aren’t as few upbeat K.K. songs as I made it seem. Or maybe I just collected all of them on this list. I’d like to take this opportunity to reinforce that I am no expert in video games or music. I’m not too sure why I’m even writing this. Anyway, Surfin’ K.K. acts as an incredible adrenaline boost. Makes me wish I could surf, or maybe play the guitar.

7) K.K. Disco

In lieu of 601, K.K. Disco is a pretty decent placeholder. I’d love to see a house remix of it. In fact, this is an open invitation: if anybody out there who sees this has any sort of musical inclination, please do consider remixing this. If you do, I’ll buy you a pablo when everything opens back up again (if I haven’t graduated by then)

6) K.K. Jongara

This one’s a hidden gem. No one ever talks about K.K. Jongara, and I can’t even be too upset about it considering I didn’t even know what jongara was prior to hearing this cover.

5) Stale Cupcakes

A lovely soft tune. I know I spent the earlier half of this list praising the more upbeat songs, but I never promised this list would be consistent. I don’t know what it is about the Animal Crossing villager language, but the little noises absolutely melt my heart. When K.K. Slider sings, I have no choice but to listen.

4) K.K. Cruisin’

K.K. Cruisin’ would be right at home in a 24/7 lo-fi chill beats stream, and who doesn’t love lo-fi? If you’re looking for study playlist fodder, K.K. Cruisin’s your tune.

3) K.K. Bossa

This list is biased, and I never claimed it would be otherwise. I like bossa nova. Probably no surprise K.K. Bossa places so high up on this list. On the other hand, if you’re in the mood to listen to more bossa jams, check out St Andrews’ own @lianaflores.

2) Drivin’

If I could’ve tied this for first place, I would’ve. Honestly there’s nothing stopping me from doing so, the top 10 format is completely arbitrary. Anyway. This song is so great and often overlooked. The gentle guitar, the whistling… a wonderful song with just the right measure of bittersweet.

Before I get to number 1, I wanted to include some dishonourable mentions. When you listen to 95 songs in succession, some of them are going to feel like a sledgehammer over the head.

In no particular order:

K.K. Hypno

I’ve never felt more confused by a song. Every time I think I’ve gotten the hang of the melody, it does something slightly bonkers. I’ve listened to it 10 times and I still can’t remember a single note progression. If the goal is a hypnotic shift into a state of soft insanity, then maybe we can consider it a tool of psychological warfare.

K.K. Dirge

This one is probably no surprise to anyone who’s heard it before. Never have I ever felt so immensely uncomfortable listening to an Animal Crossing song. I understand that this was probably the intention, but that doesn’t detract from the fact that I still dislike it immensely. Maybe it’s successful in that it fulfils its purpose, but that all just depends on your definition of artistic success. My definition of K.K. Dirge is: bad.

K.K. Dixie

I’m not sure why, but hearing this made me recoil physically. All things considered, it’s really not as objectively bad as some of the others in the ‘dishonourable mentions’ pool, but I think I’m allergic to it. I feel nauseated. I had to stop it halfway through, I couldn’t listen through to the end. A hard disagree.

K.K. Ska


Anyways, back to the top 10.

1) Bubblegum K.K.

Is it any surprise Bubblegum’s in first place? I’m only human. This song is like a shot of serotonin straight to the eardrum. You’ve heard it before, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You know Bubblegum is the best K.K. Slider song, and so do I. There’s no point in kidding ourselves.